Ten Pathways of Healing Love

COURAGE OF THE ROSE

2010-02-13T09:16:00.000-08:00

VALENTINE TRIBUTE TO OUR BELOVED MOTHER, ROSIE

My mother, Rosie, will be 88 years old on Valentines Day. Every year on this day of Love, our family gathers together to honor our most lovable mother.

Our huge family of her six children and 1 adopted child and their spouses; 16 grandchildren and their spouses; 14 great grand children, numerous godchildren and those who have adopted her as their mother too many to enumerate from many parts over the world are gathering together to celebrate this auspicious day for my Mom.

This year on February 14, we are organizing an online video teleconference family reunion, gathering the entire family together via cyberspace since we all live all over the world.

Her technologically savvy grandchildren are making sure that Mom can see her entire family network of love, since many of us could not physically make it home for the planned family reunion.

It is amazing to see the SPIRIT of love through modern technology, helping us transcend geographical and physical distance. We love how the Universe has cooperated to bring our world closer together, albeit virtually.

What’s the huge symbolism of the year we are celebrating with her? Did you know that 88 is the symbol of double infinity of Love.

Our Mom lives this.

She is always telling us that Love is beyond time and space.

She is our courageous center and our loving anchor on this earth that provides us with a family to

· To turn to,
· To grow from,
· To belong with,
· To have a net when life gives us falls,
· To see connections and our distinct selves from,
· To be nurtured and loved,
· To distance from,
· To ask and receive,
· To talk, share and listen,
· To struggle with and disagree,
· To want approval and to give approval,
· To celebrate with and reminisce,
· To laugh with and at ourselves,
· To confide and share secrets,
· To empathize with and feel sympathy for,
· To be reminded of the amazing power and value of love,
· To live responsibly and with integrity,
· To speak the truth,
· To face our faults,
· To have shame and guilt where it is appropriate,
· To know ourselves in the face of disapproval,
· To stand strong to opposition,
· To join together despite our differences,
· To make peace and forgive ourselves and each other, and
· To come home to for whatever reason and be welcomed.

We all have so many stories of Rosie, both us in our family and the many whom she has touched in her community. She is known to radiate love and courage, generosity and kindness, compassion and sacrifices, suffering and triumph, of honor and humor. We could fill pages and pages of her stories.

Throughout her life, she has turned rags and remnants into works of art, painstakingly focused in seeing God’s creation. She has given us wisdom, presence and beauty in the mundane routines of daily life to major events of global impact.

My Mom is the amazing recycling queen. She had the gift of making unique colorful clothes from pieces that others discard. She wears them with regal class to her monthly ballroom dances. Her fairy godmother magic leaves one wondering about the parts and pieces that went into her concoctions except to marvel at her creation. We are always astounded by her faith and her ability to enjoy the amazing blessings of joy coming from the Great Source of Nothingness and of All Things.

She looks at life abundantly, seeing the flow of grace and blessing from God for all her needs and more. She is a fountain of generosity and she credits her Father, Don Pepe, for his vision to raise his daughters to be responsible stewards of the prosperity that has blessed him and his heirs. Mom – a paradox of wealth and simplicity. Her greatest joy comes from her charitable endeavors.

More than the financial blessings is the foundation of JMV, whom mother has lovingly named in honor of her father. This is a legacy of Gratitude, Integrity, Trust and Love for one another and care for those less fortunate for God is within them too.

Rosie sees her life’s purpose to pass forward the blessings she has received in her life by:
· Beginning and ending the day with meditation and prayer, especially praying the Rosary.
· Loving one another.
· Being there with compassion when life is hard.
· Remembering and celebrating all birthdays, anniversaries, achievements, friendship with intangible gifts of heartfelt greetings, positive and prayerful intentions and if possible a gathering.
· Tithing generously and wisely to charity and receive from God all blessings, for she truly understands it is all a circle.
· Trusting that everything happens for a higher purpose and having Faith and trusting, even when it seems impossible.
· Lifting your sufferings to the Father.
· Turning ALL over to the Will of God and being in peace.
· Living courageously and following God’s guidance (through prayer, intuition, heart, gut) in all you do.
· Blessing each day as a Gift to be alive and of service in the present Moment.
· Being in Joy of Heart NOW.
· Savoring nourishment, eating slowly with delight and being merry.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Mom!

Today…February 14, 2010 you are the Double Infinity of Love.
88 resounding in heartbeats of LOVE all over the world multiplied.
Through your children, grand children, great grand children
Embrace you with love radiant in their hearts.
All are so blessed for your Life of Purpose and Grace
With your loving presence and generosity of heart
How amazingly you have touched all our lives
Leaving your legacy of LOVE, FAITH and COURAGE.

You make your Father, proud and we love you.

Lalei and Phil

www.tenpathwaysofhealinglove.com

www.phillalei.com

Can Your Partnership Sustain The Call Of Your Soul?

2010-01-29T09:24:00.000-08:00

Mary, a woman in her 40’s, put aside her dreams of doing humanitarian work to be a wife and raise children in a stable, family home. Now at 46, with her youngest child in college, she began to feel a pull to give back to the world. Over time as she sat with these feelings, she realized she wanted to be a missionary in Ghana. She was moving into the phase of personal development where she wanted to discover herself, expand, go and reach out to the third world.

At the same time, her husband Bob turned 50. He felt he wanted to enjoy this time in his life by being home with Mary. He looked forward to the freedom of working and being at home, as most of his adult life he had traveled extensively for work. In his phase of personal development, he was ready to nurture and be a full, intimate partner-the very thing they had talked about all these years. Now, he did not need to be on the road for his work.

She saw that the children were grown now so she could have her freedom and follow her ‘dream’. From his vantage point, he said that now that the children were grown, it was time for them to be together. She said, “I’ve stayed home, I can’t do it anymore.” Now, he was ready to slow down and settle in their “nest”.

They felt the tension of their different wants and knew they did not want their struggle to poise a threat of divorce. In counseling, they felt their commitment to their marriage covenant and affirmed their love and respect for each other. They were surprised at the intensity of their present struggle and feared what it was bringing to the surface. We shared with them about the phases of the couples’ developmental journey and they began to understand where they were at individually in their own personal growth. As a couple, they looked and explored deeply within themselves the deeper purpose of what they were experiencing as a couple.

As a couple, they completed the first stage of development of their ‘Couple Identity’. Individually, she had fulfilled her part in the first phase of development (staying at home and nurturing the children) and now her soul was calling her back to her original love – to serve in a third world country. The call had become so compelling that as their youngest child was close to graduating from college, she felt a strong pull to discover its deeper purpose for her and for them together. It was equally important that their marriage partnership be sustained in following her call. Can her husband and their marriage take the risk for this discovery? How will their marriage develop if she did not follow this compelling call of her soul?

Individually, he too had fulfilled his career goals and experienced the support and autonomy provided by marriage. He had been questioning his dreams when a close call with a crisis at work made him evaluate what truly mattered. He wanted to be more connected and available to the love of his life and to his family.

Herein was their paradox. If he stopped her from being a missionary in Ghana and if she chastised him for finally wanting the togetherness she begged of him, they would co-create a polarization that would have wreak havoc in their marriage. This, they were very clear, they did not want.

The alternative was to consciously work out this phase in their couple’s soul development. They utilized a process of dialogue to delve into the heart, soul, fears, regrets and beliefs this phase of development brought to them.

So when they came to co-create their ‘growth agreement’ (as they called it) and realized what their experiment of separateness would mean, the paradox of their intimacy brought them energy and excitement. Their marriage was both strengthened and deepened. They also saw themselves individually living a purposeful life. They gave themselves a time frame of two years and three, six month intervals to check in with each other. She would fulfill her humanitarian goals in Ghana and he would take care of their home while fulfilling his passion for solar engineering research. Their friends and family expressed concern for their ‘complete flip-flop’ of roles and the long distance arrangement of their marriage. They both knew the depth, strength and risk of their courageous experiment.

It enriched them. They found ways to connect intimately using technologies that were available. While they shared their different worlds: her experiences living with, ministering to and learning from the natives, his growing appreciation of time with their children, their home and his research; they were amazed at their deepened love, passion for life, their differentiation and connection. Their inner world expanded.

They also knew many couples who would have divorced over this and would not have been able to tolerate the physical distance and the ‘dangers’ separation would pose.

A few times while she was traveling, her husband would come to us distraught and shaking because he hadn’t heard from his wife for awhile. We would reinforce for him how strong their connection was even when she was in a far away place. We would pray with him to help him radiate his love to her. During one session he got his confirmation. She called him on his cell phone to tell him that she was safe, happy and glad that she was finally able to find a way to reach him from the remote area where she was located. He expressed his worry and needed reassurance that she was safe. He felt their soulful connection as she expressed how she thought about him and wrote to him in her journals. They both talked of their plans to rendezvous as she invited him to visit Africa, if he was willing to visit.

That event, triggered for him, the fear of a final separation. “What if she never called? What if she is harmed and unsafe?” Such questions brought him to the depths of his soul journey and his love. “You know, I pray daily when I am fearful…that is what keeps me sane and in the present moment.”

After her two years of travel and humanitarian work and two visits, one of which was a difficult one, she returned home and they reunited. From the time they spent developing themselves, they realized together that they wanted to co-create their home in a community where people could live simply, consciously and purposefully. She contributed the knowledge and experience she gained in Ghana to this community and he brought all that he had developed in himself from studying solar energy and self-sustainable models.

As a couple, they exemplify how their loving included both of them authentically following the calling of their soul. They were willing to take risks and follow their souls’ call (one by going to Ghana and the other by staying home). They were able to trust each other to co-create an agreement and a process that no matter how uncomfortable or non-traditional it was, they had faith in their Highest Good and respect of their Higher Purpose individually and as a couple.

Please share with us how you are experiencing negotiating your soul call and your commitment to your intimate relationship!

Instead of Fighting, Fill Your Holidays with Non-Tangible Gifts

2009-12-11T17:27:00.000-08:00

Couple’s fight like anything when the holidays approach about totally mundane issues, like how the toilet paper is rolled, who should take out the trash, whether the lights are turned on or off, etc. It’s not the big stuff they are fighting about, but small stuff. Their fights escalate because they don’t understand the undercurrents, pressure and stress they are dealing with.

It is such a paradox and we love helping couples move through their struggle into shedding the light.

Many couples can’t figure out why they keep fighting about the small stuff and why they make such a big deal about it. What they can’t see is that there are pressing expectations behind the small fights, needs that are not being met. Many couples are so focused on buying tangible gifts for each other that they forget that giving intangible gifts can be the richest, most cherished gifts given and received!

Here’s some ways you can begin to diffuse the energy when you are fighting so you can actually feel and experience the generosity of the season!

Tips for Holiday Giving:
When you are fighting breathe and slow down. This is how you begin to become attentive to what is behind the fight, the story and the tension.
Ask your partner, “I am interested in knowing why it matters to you that ____________ (i.e. I turn off the lights, I do the dishes that way, I leave the keys in your shoes etc)? Tell me your story.”
Begin to get curious about your partners perspective and be attentive.
Dialogue and discover the intangible gifts you both really desire and be willing to give and receive them.
Acknowledge when you have given your partner a gift and they’ve given to you. Notice the difference between offering it as gift verses meeting an expectation.
Remember you’ll need to continue to communicate your perspective and desires to your partner. Your partner will probably not remember what you’ve asked for. Gifts are requested and given in the present. Unarticulated expectations become the trigger for a fight.
Acknowledge the gift you’ve both given to your partner and the one you have received.
Broadcast with enthusiasm “I just gave you a gift, did you notice my gift? I just turned off the lights because I know it matters to you. Wow, right now, I gave you my ‘you matter to me’ gift.” Make it a big deal. Make the energy of your gifting bigger than the energy you put into your fight – make receiving of the gift broad and bigger than the energy you put into the fight. Celebrate giving and receiving your intangible gifts. Celebrate yourselves. Choose your intangible inner joy!
What Are Some Intangible Gifts You Can Give Your Loved One?
A week of neck and/or back rubs.
Cleaning up the kitchen.
Shampooing the carpet.
Taking out the trash.
Breakfast in bed
A poem, song, art work, and a collection of jokes you put together
Preparing their special dish or dessert

When are fighting with your loved one, we encourage you to look underneath the small stuff, attend and discover what you truly want to give, receive and share with each other.

Feel free to share here by posting your comment of some of the intangible gifts that you’d like to give the one you love.

5 Ways to Overcome the Holidays, Even if Your Life is Hard

2009-12-01T06:54:00.000-08:00

If you have had a tough time this year, due to job loss, illness, the financial crisis, or other heartbreak, you may be dreading the holiday season. These tips from the authors of Overcomers, Inc: True stories of hope, courage, and inspiration will help you cope:

1. Make taking care of yourself and needs your number one priority this year. While it is good to care for others, in times of stress, it is easy to get overwhelmed by too much done on other’s behalf. You have permission to be giving of TLC to yourself and to receive from those who give to you.
2. Get enough rest. If you are feeling sad or stressed, those feelings will intensify if you don’t get enough rest. Be sure you have enough time to recharge your batteries.
3. Create some new traditions. If this is the first year that you’ll face the holidays after the death of a loved one or post layoff, don’t pretend that life is the same and force yourself to do all the things you’ve always done. Keep the traditions that feel good to you with at least one new thing that you will enjoy. New traditions bring more positive energy into the holiday season.
For example, a tradition that began when a family member was going through a lot of adversity was NO buying of material gifts more than $2. Better yet, creative presents from the heart is better. It was the most exciting Christmas day we had filled with gift wrapped containers made from recycled materials with heartfelt joy bursting to be discovered. Our children "shopped" in their own closets, made cards, drawings...and the most important was discovering how much joy, love and thoughtfulness went into the present.
4. Ask for help. If you’ve always entertained people with a full course dinner but just don’t feel up to it or can’t afford it, let your loved ones know. Suggest a pot luck meal, let another family member host the event this year, or have a movie nut with simple snacks. Match your energy level and your budget to what you can do, not what you’ve always done. You'll be amazed at the Spirit of sharing that gets created.
5. Reach out to others in need. No matter how awful you may feel your life is, there are folks in a more difficult situation. Sending an afternoon visiting a nursing home, volunteering in a food pantry, or sending a care package to a member of the military will lift your spirits and help you feel needed.

Overcomers Inc.: Authors Blog Tour Interview of Phil and Lalei

2009-11-04T13:01:00.000-08:00

October 24, 2009 Overcomers Authors Blog Tour Interview

Philip R. Belzunce, Ph.D., ND, LSMFT, RPE, CPC, MH and
Lalei E Gutierrez-Belzunce Ph.D., LSMFT, RPE, CPC

Philip Belzunce Ph.D., ND, LSMFT, RPE, CPC, MH, integrative psychologist, naturopath, holistic life/relationship coach, marriage/family therapist, diversity consultant, international lecturer, energetic bodyworker, hypnotherapist, iridologist, martial artist, Taoist teacher, married priest, is an eternal student of life. He authored What Really Matters is the Heart, and Heart Shadows. He derives great satisfaction in serving with a Higher Purpose, facilitating individuals, couples, families and groups through life transitions and transformations for growth, healing, and well-being, . To know more of his collaborative teamwork with his wife/partner, go to www.tenpathwaysofhealinglove.com, www.phillalei.com to find out how to reconnect with your body-emotion-energy-mind-soul-spirit (BEEMSS) Life Journey.

Lalei E. Gutierrez Ph.D., LSMFT, RPE, CPC is a holistic psychologist, life/relationship and spiritual coach, couples system and diversity consultant whose practice reflects her love and gratitude to serve with a Higher Purpose, individuals, couples, families, groups and the world community through their life journeys, transitions, aspirations, transformative process and well-being. She integrates Gestalt therapy, energy body process work, couples and family systems process, diversity, imagery, dreamwork, EFT, EMDR, TaiChiChiKung, polarity, soulwork and spirituality in her work To learn of her collaborative body-emotion-energy-mind-spirit process and practice (BEEMSS) method, check www.PhilLalei.com, and their e-book for Healing Love relationships www.TenPathwaysofHealingLove.com

1. How did you get started writing?
Phil: I started writing for my soul’s journey in a journal during grieving my mother’s death in 1994. I shared my journal a year later with Lalei, who encouraged me to publish “What Really Matters is the Heart”. Another book, “Heart Shadows” began upon my father’s death in 1998. Both books were spiritually moved and flowed. It was a healing process to write them. When Spirit gifted us a dog, a process on its own, Lalei and I co-authored a children’s book, “Once upon a Doggie” which we completed one Sunday morning, when we had a joyful collective dream.
Lalei: writing for me was professional for workshops and classes we teach. But the stirrings and encouragements to write our stories and what we can contribute had been there coming as a sense of restlessness, a message from Spirit knocking in our dreams and comments from people. The time has when we said ‘YES”, a writing coach and editor(s) showed up in 2008, and an email from Lynne to write for Overcomers INC came in bold PRINT…no more to be postponed.

2. What do you do when you are not writing?
Phil: professionally, Lalei and I have our holistic and integral private practices individually and together, wherein we coach individuals, couples, groups, families. We are energetic body process and polarity practitioners. We also train and consult with health care practitioners, teach diversity professionals, coach, lead workshops in diversity, ten pathways of healing love for individuals and couples, facilitate holistic growth groups for individuals and couples and consult and coach with small family businesses. We are faculty of the Gestalt Institute, Diversity Management Program at Cleveland State University and with the Ohio Institute of Energetic Studies and Bodywork. I also practice as a naturopath. Lalei co-leads women’s Goddess groups.

Lalei: Personally, we are now grandparents of 4 of our own and 9 from our siblings. We value living and practicing a holistic and integral life and relationship style of being. We practice what we teach and see ourselves as a healing partnership of love, transforming our world by first transforming ourselves. Our day involves daily meditation, prayer, fitness, wellness and healing exercises as yoga, chi kung, pilates, movement. We are choiceful in preparing mostly living raw foods and foster health awareness for ourselves, our community and our environment. We are involved in the service of health, healing and wellness and supporting others to have options for their empowerment, growth and freedom.

3. What would readers like to know about you?
We are a conscious marrying (use present tense vs past tense in ‘married’) couple,
passionate about our healing partnership, being the microcosm in a macrocosm of the world’s pattern of relations. We see our contribution as being choicefully transformative in our process, and how that may impact generations to come, starting with our family to be healing presences of love, overcoming adversities that strengthen individuals, couples, families, groups, communities in harnessing co-creatively and collaboratively.

4. What inspired you to be a contributing author in Overcomers, Inc.,
Phil: When we were invited by Lynne, we knew that it was time to share our stories of Overcoming Adversity…and from which we draw our Soul’s Higher Purposes and our Spiritual Journey in this earth.
Lalei: I am inspired to be a contributing author of Overcomers, Inc. and join other overcomers at a time when the current world situation in almost every level of society and our country is undergoing massive adversities shaking all levels of system and the world as we know. I am honored to be part of this endeavor and contribute to bring Light and Healing Love in our world community.

5. Why is the topic of Overcoming important to you?
Lalei: Overcoming is important to me as a process of Coming Over to the Call of Spirit to live authentically and with integrity. Adversities present themselves in our lives as opportunities for us to hear the Call– to face our fears, de-structure and heal unhealthy beliefs, connect within deeply, to learn forgiveness of ourselves and of others, to touch our spiritual essences, to connect with our Higher Purpose of Love and know the Links of our unique Being-ness to our ONEness as a Global humanity. Overcoming renews our relationship with the Divine Love that embraces us all and see us through to discover the miracles of the ever-Present moment. Through overcoming adversity, I come close to God. As Mother Teresa has said, “she meets God in every human soul being she serves.”

6. Why are you specially qualified to write about this topic?
We, individually and as a couple, have Overcome adversities that spanned, familial, cultural, religious, diversity, social, political, economic, personal, relational realms. Perhaps destiny has trained us by the circumstances we each have faced in our lives, we have also taken these adversities to propel us in fields of study, taking the opportunities for understanding the soul, studying human behavior, in psychology, family therapy, relational and group dynamics, energetic studies, metaphysics, hypnosis, holistic health, healing therapies. We have been in combined practice for more than 50 years…and have help so many overcome adversities.

7. How many books have you written?
1. our dissertations (unpublished)
2. Choices of the Heart (unpublished)
3. Pairs Polarity in Significant Relationships: Becoming Aware of our Interpersonal Elements (manuscripts)
4. 2 published: Heart Shadows, and What Really Matters is the Heart
5. 1 E-book
6. Chapters of Phil and Lalei in Overcomers are just the tip of the ice-berg.
We are encouraged by many to write our personal couple story…we have
chapters here and there.
7. BEEMSS

8. What are the titles of your books and what genres are they?
Belzunce, Phil, What Really Matters is the Heart (hard copy) translated to e-book
In this heartfelt and life-affirming novel, Phil Belzunce, relationship psychologist share with us his journey of grieving the death of his mother. He tenderly shares his passage along the pathways of healing, laying out for the reader the profound impact of our primal ties to our mothers. Here we are guided into the windows of healing in the depths of our soul, teaching us when we can embrace the grieving process, we actually join with the forces of life.
Belzunce, Phil, Heart Shadows, (hard copy) novel translated to e-book
Heart Shadow’s takes us on the journey of a couple’s struggle facing and moving through life’s challenges. Here we discover how thiscouple receives the news of the wife’s medical diagnosis and their journey of healing. The author, Phil Belzunce beautifully weaves for us real-life recollections of his own healing journey breathtakingly laying out for us our own levels of insight, awareness and forgiveness on our own paths of discovery.
Belzunce, Phil & Gutierrez, Lalei, Once Upon a Doggie, (hard copy) translated to e-book
This refreshing children’s novel is a puppy’s lively journey to discover both who he is and how he gives back to our world.
Once Upon a Doggie teaches us to be ourselves, exactly as we are and that is our greatest gift and our contribution.
Belzunce, Phil & Gutierrez, Lalei, Ten Pathways of Healing Love: A Journey of Transformation (e book) www.tenpathwaysofhealinglove.com.
Imagine having a guidebook for your intimate relationship, one that will help you gracefully move through the challenges in your partnership

9. How do you manage to keep yourself focused and on track when you’re writing a book?
We have an editor-word designer who keeps us on track. We meet regularly. We share what is present and what is in our minds-heart-spirit regarding the pathway on hand, she records what we are saying, and send it back to us in an email. It stimulates our us to write and send it back to her. The process has been going on for a year now and we hope to see this process soon complete and on line.

10. Do you write to make money, for the love of writing or both?
We write for Love and Passing on Forward. We write to share and inspire others and as Spirit moves us. We would welcome the energetic flow of money to fund the cause of Healing Love for couples and families and the co-creation of Healing Love for the transformation of our world to one of peace and love where love can hold the diversity of life and the global heart beats for All.

11. What makes you proud about your involvement with Overcomers, Inc.?
Being part of an international group of authors who are making a difference in the world, through Overcoming Adversity with Grace and Transforming our world.

12. Will you write more books? YES Definitely.

13. What does the future hold for you and your books?
We would like to see a book written by couples and families who have overcome adversity together. There are special dynamics involved in couples that lend themselves to overcoming adversity in their journey of love and transformation.
(Lynne and Kathleen – we would love to do this with you).

14. What makes this a book that other people MUST read and WHY?
It is uplifting and inspiring. It is a companion for those going through their dark night of the soul. It comforts to know that in adversity is the possibility for one’s calling. It is a support to know that other have made it through and we are not alone.

15. What people NEED to read this book and WHY?
- search for meaning
- different perspectives…seeing out of the box
- creative ideas
- soulful moments
- silent retreats
- compassionate understanding
- inspiration
- empowering encouragement
- supports

16. What sparks your creativity? Any tips to help others spark their own creativity?
Movement, music, play, silence, meditation, nature, out of the box, haiku,
Brainstorming, laughter, dialogical process in groups, calling upon my spirit guides,
Listening to my Dreams. Etc

17. What do you think motivates people to become authors? What motivated you to get into this unusual industry?
People like Lynne, Kathleen --- supports

18. Tell me about the most unusual things you have done to promote any books?
We brought our dog to signings…and he knew how to attract folks.

19. If a potential reader thinks that your book wouldn't interest them, what would you say to convince them to buy? I'm thinking something better than "Its the greatest book ever." Give me something more specific :)
We usually tell a story as to what brought us to write the book and our energy and excitement…and how we were moved and touched.

20. What is your final message to our readers?
May you find the blessings of higher purpose, love, joy, growth, healing, well-being, gratitude and peace in overcoming the adversities that grace your life journey. May you truly know in your tissues, cells, in your bones and in your soulful spirit, that All the Universe is truly here on your side with Love.

To get your own copy of Overcomers, Inc.,True Stories of Hope, Courage and Inspiring AND enjoy dozens of wonderful gifts with your purchase go to

http://phillalei.com

Miracle of Love:

2009-10-23T16:07:00.000-07:00

Our Journey with Overcomers, Inc.
Lalei E. Gutierrez and Philip R. Belzunce

When we were invited by Lynne Klippel to contribute each of our chapters to the newly published book, Overcomers, Inc.: True Stories of Hope, Courage and Inspiration, we had no idea what was in store for us! We never thought we would embark into yet another process of overcoming. This had been for us an exciting, reflective, opening, co-creating and celebrative experience. All this has happened for us at the same time we have been writing our e-book -- The Ten Pathways of Healing Love: a Journey of Transformation.

During this time of writing, we have found ourselves reviewing our personal life journeys and our relationship journey as a couple. We have also been exploring and reflecting on the evolution of humanity's consciousness and spirituality evolution --the relationships between people, communities, cultures and countries.

We stand in awe of the mysteries and miracles of life. We are astounded at the polarities of experiences, as well as, the adversities and challenges that have led us into amazing discoveries, learning, and growth. We are honored to contribute to the heart-mind-spirit of our world.

Now, more than ever, we are feeling the shifts in consciousness, inviting us into open fields of conversation, sharing and connection.

We are finding that courage is no longer a lonely and secret process, where one blazes through a treacherous trail to survive, to seek one’s higher purpose, to reclaim one’s health, soul or spirit, and/or to answer a call of grace. Courage or lack of it is no longer a virtue to be affirmed upon a person’s demise.

What has stood out for us the most when reading all of the stories in Overcomers is the courage it takes to share one’s story. Did you know that the root of the word COURAGE in French comes from “couer” which means heart?

We all know that it takes heart to have courage. Let’s look at what courage really means.

C - Challenge or Crisis occurs when human beings have some kind of
challenge or crisis caused by either an internal or an external situation or
event.
O – Obstacles will be experienced including feelings of fear, shame,
rejection,criticism.
U – In their Uncertainty they will Uncover an Underlying
mystery.
R – Risk, Resources, Reflection and a Review of patterned
Reactions will occur.
A – Abilities (mental, emotional, physical, spiritual) will be unearthed.
G – Grace will be Given through others kindness, support,
synchronicities, and the unexpected.
E - Exploring new horizons and the Embracing of new discoveries
appears.

Such courage, propelled by HOPE, inspires others (38 authors stories) to know that through it all, one has to:

• Let go,
• Surrender to the moment,
• Seek and find,
• Listen to one’s intuition,
• Answer to the call of their heart,
• Breathe,
• Trust,
• Believe,
• Reclaim oneself, and
• Let God do the driving.

We honor all our amazing co-authors that we have joined together with in this project and process. Though we may not know each other in person, we have all connected with the global HEART call and have been brought together for a Higher Purpose.

Together, we co-created with COURAGE to LOVE.

Overcomers is chock full of stories of hope, courage and inspiration. We see this book as an example of co-creating in the higher purpose of Healing Love, to inspire everyone to know that adversity can be overcome and transformed.

With Love and Gratitude,
Lalei and Phil

To Purchase Overcomers, Inc., True Stories of Hope, Courage and Inspiration (from Amazon) and to claim nearly 100 free gifts from noted transformational leaders such as Wayne Dyer, Christine Kloser, Chris and Janet Atwood and more . please visit: http://www.overcomersbook.com/booklaunch for more information.

Overcomer's Inc: 3 Book Reviews/endorsements

2009-10-23T14:20:00.000-07:00

“Overcomers, Inc. crosses all borders of life. It doesn't matter where you live, the color of your skin, or the state of your physical health. There are times when life throws you a curve ball and you feel all alone. Overcomers, Inc. is your companion during those tough times. Reading these stories will inspire you and offer you hope - hope that you'll overcome your tough time in life. This is one of those books I strongly recommend to all my patients.” ~ Dr. Michael Kaye, DrMichaelKaye.com.

“Overcomers, Inc. is an eminently readable series of true tales, written by people of all ages and backgrounds. All have confronted adversity in one form or another and prevailed. While deceptively simple, this volume contains deep truths about how to rise above calamity, seeing the good instead of the bad, maintaining hope despite despair, and recognizing that gratitude and forgiveness are truly empowering. Read this book! You will not only enjoy it, but will find yourself empowered to go beyond some crushing realities which hold you down or bring you low. These tales, depicting the impact of faith in God’s goodness, coupled with a belief in one’s innate human resilience, will inspire you and enable you to overcome perennial overwhelm. Instead, these memorable, heartwarming vignettes will help you attain your dreams in ways you never thought possible.”

~Rabbi Ed Weinsberg, Ed.D., D.D. Author of Conquer Prostate Cancer: How Medicine, Faith, Love and Sex Can Renew Your Life ConquerProstateCancer.com

“At the end of reading the beautiful poignant stories, the first word that came to my mind was “Wow!” These are extraordinary and brave stories….not only inspiring, but soul stirring. Each one of these narratives is proof that there is a choice to co-create with Source that will inevitably bring healing. All the authors had the trust, willingness, and courage to make that choice, and surrender to the mystery of life’s unfolding, demonstrating how tragedies, illness, disappointment and betrayal can be shape-shifted into miracles. It is a noble book not only for these unprecedented turbulent times, and serves as a beacon of hope for all of us in the human condition.” ~ Max Wellspring, TheWellSpringSolution.com.

To get your own copy and receive dozens of bonus gifts go to http://www.overcomersbook.com/booklaunch

Overcomers, Inc., Inspiring Stories of Hope, Courage and Inspiration

2009-10-23T14:09:00.000-07:00

Overcomers, Inc: True stories of hope, courage, and inspiration will give readers the knowledge and emotional resilience to face the most difficult times of life by sharing inspiring stories of triumph.

You will find this a book of diversity. There are many authors, from many walks of life. However, they all share a common bond. They triumphed over tragedy and gleaned wisdom in this process. While this is not a religious book, there are stories full of faith, of many kinds and flavors. It is funny how in your darkest times, faith often becomes your brightest light.

All of the contributors to this book want to encourage you to hold tight to your belief that a better day will come. It is their sincere desire to pass along what they’ve learned through their own trials, to make your journey easier.

This is our 38 Courageous Amazing Overcomers Authors and their compelling stories of hope, courage and inspiration. http://www.overcomersbook.com/booklaunch

Section 1- Hope

Mary Hayes-Bridges, When Tough Times Hit, There Is Always HOPE
Martha Lee Bohn , Coincidence is God's Way of Remaining Anonymous
Nancie Benson , One Size Does Not Fit All
Kathleen Gage , Second Chances,
Lauren Salamone , Listen to What Your Heart Already Knows
Steven Rotz , When All Else Fails, There is Magic
Barbara McCollough , When Grace Comes to Get You
Karen Keeney , My Crazy, Beautiful Life Makeover
Nachhi Randhawa , Finding My Purpose Through Adversity and Practical Experience
Marifran Korb , The Weed That Broke Through the Sidewalk
Julio Blanco , Decide and Go Seek: Overcoming Life’s Chronic Little Challenges to Let Your Purpose Shine Through
Susan Hampton , I Am Experiencing "N.O.W."–(New Omnipotent Ways)
Marlene Oulton , Getting Older(and Over!) The "Not Enough" Syndrome-
Catherine Newton , Create A Magical Life: Tap Into Your Soul's Intention of Abundance

Section 2- Courage

Frances Thomas , The Awesome Power of Optimism: A Personal Journey to HOPE
Christine Kloser, Saying Good-bye to a Business I Loved Holly Eburne , Surrender To The Moment
Joshua Aragon, How Big Is Your Tent? One Man's Quest to Find the Answer for More, More, More
Nelie Johnson , Calling of the Heart
Colleen Bain , Remember to Stop and Just Breathe
Lalei E. Gutierrez , The Call to Trust and Believe in Healing Love
Amelie Chance , How the Airline Safety Speech Saved My Life
Rev. Rita “MeKila” Herring , When Your Intuition Calls, Answer the Phone!
Lynne Klippel , The Waiting Room Miracle
Kimberly Martin , Willy Loman, I Am Not!
Leela Francis, The Dance of The Sacred Sensual Me
Virginia Fischer, 140 Boxes…. More Than a Ton of Ancient History
Nancy Cotter , Are You Credit Worthy?-

Section 3- Inspiration

Paula Morand , When the Rain Falls
Tomar Levine , Growing Up After Fifty: It's Never Too Late to Bloom
Scott Cunningham , How Do I Get Out Of Here?
Catherine Van Wetter , A Time of Grief - A Time of Peace
Philip Belzunce , Transformative Power of Intimacy
Corrine Ropp , Forgiveness - The Key to Unlocking Your Prison
Margaret Sarkissian , Starting Over: A Journey of Loss and Recovery
Colleen Russell , Awakening to Her True Self
Charlon Bobo , From Trauma To Triumph: One Woman's Empowering Journey From Fragmented Child to Conscious Entrepreneur
Jan Janzen , Let God Do the Driving

http://www.overcomersbook.com/booklaunch

Transformative Power of Intimacy

2009-10-22T19:41:00.000-07:00

Philip Belzunce, Ph.D., ND, RPE, LSMFT, CPC

One of the lessons that I have learned so vividly can be compared to the sun in the sky. Some days, especially in winter, we may see only the dark clouds and believe with conviction in the delusion that the sun is not present. But just because the bright sun is entirely obscured by the dark clouds, it does not mean that the sun is not there shining.

I learned that no amount of preaching for world peace will ultimately create a harmonious humanity if any of us are still divided within. Through self-discovery and healing in body, emotions, mind, and spirit, to fully embrace my soul journey, I have transformed, with forgiveness and love, past fears and pains, to claim the joy I am living in my present and into my future. I am allowing myself to fully embrace a loving world.

Through experiences of “dying,” I learned the value of living. Though my body was threatened, my spirit became alive. I am now in a space of being truly grateful for how my past experiences have transformed how I perceive life. I believe that my gratitude helps me support my clients in a true theology of liberation through the process of integrating body, mind, and spirit.

From Overcomers, Inc.; True Stories of Hope, Courage and Inspiration. To get your own copy and receive dozens of bonus gifts go to http://www.overcomersbook.com/booklaunch

We Are Here For You

2009-10-20T10:36:00.000-07:00

Couples Overcome Adversity Together

Lalei Gutierrez and Philip Belzunce

The number and intensity of stressors affecting couples is growing exponentially. We are seeing economic, financial and health adversities actually “forcing” some couples that would have divorced, to stay together to survive. Their well being - physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health - is being profoundly impacted in ways we’ve never seen before.

We all know that in the lifespan of every significant couple relationship, adversity strikes and shifts their lives to go out of balance. Their relationship can suffer as stressors intensify. Feelings of shame, guilt, anger, fear, sadness, worry, depression become the “virus” that weakens the couple’s relationship, as it becomes the vulnerable place where stresses of life get dumped.

Many couples are at a loss on how to deal with the challenges brought about by such adversities. Their strategies for coping with stress seem to not be working. It feels like they are pulling each other down the harder they try. It can feel like a battle for survival. How sad it is, when a former love becomes a current “enemy”.

Since the culture of western society values individualism, there are more supports available for individuals. It is at these times of stress that a holistic and system perspective is needed, wherein members come together for the overcoming of the whole unit…the couples together, as couples (husband-wife, father-mother, partners, friends, brother-sister, pairings or 2 person systems) are the microcosm of a society and the SEEDING and GROWING of Love.

We have found that during the times of adversity, many of us have been helped by wonderful people and profound moments that touch our inner being as individuals. When these profound moments impact the inner being of the couple system, the exponential transformation of the whole is even more profound.

These people and events can literally lift and carry us through these painful challenges. When this happens, the kindest and most gracious force known to humanity - LOVE has met us.

Love is the strongest force in the world and the most misunderstood….

When love is present, people feel and experience: inordinate energy, joy, well-being and great purpose.

The greatest work for a couple is to consciously commit to their relationship as one of healing love. Their commitment creates a foundation strong enough to weather the storm of life’s adversities, transforming them into a loving force that changes the world! By opening and integrating transformational processes, couples can move forward in their life’s journey – with all its trials and all of its joys!

To learn more about a couple’s transforming, healing love and how to overcome adversity in your relationship, please visit: http://tenpathwaysofhealinglove.com.

With Love and Gratitude –

Lalei

Lalei E. Gutierrez Ph.D., LSMFT, RPE, CPC, is a holistic psychologist, life, relationship and spiritual coach, marriage and family therapist, energetic body process practitioner, and diversity consultant whose coaching, counseling and/or consulting practice reflects her gratitude to serve with a Higher Purpose, individual, couples, families and groups through their life journeys, aspirations, transformative processes and well-being. To learn of her collaborative body-emotion-energy-mind-spirit process and practice (BEEMSS) method, check www.PhilLalei.com, and their e-book for Healing Love relationships www.TenPathwaysofHealingLove.com. (440) 333-4105

Overcomers, Inc. by Lynne Klippel - Book review : Blog Business World

2009-10-19T19:55:00.000-07:00

<em>Overcomers, Inc.</em> by Lynne Klippel - Book review : Blog Business World

"You will find this a book of diversity. There are many authors, from many walks of life. However, they all share a common bond. They triumphed over tragedy and gleaned wisdom in this process. While this is not a religious book, there are stories full of faith, of many kinds and flavors. It is funny how in your darkest times, faith often becomes your brightest light." writes author and publisher, and overcomer herself, Lynne Klippel in her inspirational and moving anthology of hope Overcomers, Inc.: True Stories of Hope, Courage, and Inspiration. The collected stories create a strong message of hope, even in times of uncertainty, fear, and despair.

The author of each straight from the heart essay in this powerful collection describes how adversity was faced, and how those very difficult challenges were overcome. The stories of hope are diverse, and are written by real people, living through, and triumphing over tragedy, illness, sorrow, and pain.

The book summary describes the greatness of the personal achievement, often despite terrible odds:

Overcomers, Inc.: True Stories of Hope, Courage, and Inspiration will give readers the knowledge and emotional resilience to face the most difficult times of life by sharing inspiring stories of triumph.

You will find this a book of diversity. There are many authors, from many walks of life. However, they all share a common bond. They triumphed over tragedy and gleaned wisdom in this process. While this is not a religious book, there are stories full of faith, of many kinds and flavors. It is funny how in your darkest times, faith often becomes your brightest light.

All of the contributors to this book want to encourage you to hold tight to your belief that a better day will come. It is their sincere desire to pass along what they’ve learned through their own trials, to make your journey easier.

Lynne Klippel (photo left) has done a tremendous service by making these inspirational stories available. The book is not like many anthologies of inspiration, but is intended as a guide, for the reader to keep handy for those moments when all hope seems lost. The various writers, from all walks of life, have all been in the same depths of despair, yet they emerged from their problems stronger, wiser, and able to share hope with others.

Business readers may be especially interested in the following author interviews, available in conjunction with the book itself, as they provide additional background for the author's story. There are many more author interviews, but these are a wonderful introduction to the many deeply personal stories of hope:

Turning "Shit" into Fertilizer

2009-10-18T15:13:00.000-07:00

Overcoming Cancer

In life “shit” happens. It does. It is the way life is. I’ve learned that without “shit,” there are no raw materials to create with passion, meaning and inspiration.

It is all about how we look at it…

As a little boy, I loved to play in the mud. It was how I showed my friends that I could rough it out. I loved playing in the river and I would wash all the mud off my body, and at the same time, I would wash my soul!

We did all kinds of things with cow “shit”:

We made Frisbees out of cow “shit” with my friends. We’d shape them and bake them in the sun, let them dry and then sling them at each other with great glee!

Did you know when you poke cow “shit” it really stinks?

We laughed and played with dried cow “shit!” until our hearts were content!

When slinging the cow “shit,” we always tried to avoid being hit by it (for obvious reasons), but if we did get hit, we recovered from it. If we recovered, we earned everyone’s respect. We believed that after you got hit, you got back on your feet and played again.

Little did I know that these childhood games would become the metaphoric resources that would save my life and help me guide others how to transform their “shit” into fertilizer.

I have had a life’s journey full of adversity, challenges and struggles. I have had to overcome and to learn how to transform the “shit” through some very dark tunnels in my life. By doing this, I now have a beautiful, full and loving life. I am honored to support others in their life journeys.

The pathway of my life’s work has been equally as adventurous. Here again, I’ve been able to take “shit,” toil and bring it to fruition.

I am a Holistic, Integrative Psychologist, a Naturopath, an Energetic Medicine Practitioner, a Life and Relations Coach, Diversity Consultant, a Priest-Spiritual Director and Minister.

While these may seem like labels, they reflect the richness of my life.

I became a naturopath as a way of combating the diagnosis of atypical malignant muscle cancer.

The cancer’s origins were caused when I received tortuous beatings as political prisoner under the dictatorial regime. Studying to be a naturopath was my conscious choice to combat the cancer, to rough it out in the mud. Instead of giving in, I tussled with the cancer by exploring alternative and holistic healing modalities. I knew I had to walk my talk if I were to follow my passion of becoming Whole.

Just as the tormentors tried to break my body, they could not hurt my Spirit. My Spirit belongs to God whom I love and serve with my whole Being. It is with this love, I have for all His people that he sends to me to work with.

With Love and Gratitude,
Phil

To learn more about a couple’s transforming, healing love and how to overcome adversity in your relationship, please visit: http://tenpathwaysofhealinglove.com .

Philip Belzunce Ph.D., ND, LSMFT, RPE, CPC is an integrative psychologist, naturopath, life and relationship coach, diversity consultant and author. He derives great satisfaction in serving with a Higher Purpose of facilitating individuals, couples, families and groups through transitions in their life journey and transformations for growth, healing and well-being. To know more of his collaborative work with his wife/partner, go to http://www.phillalei.com/ and find out how to reconnect with your body-emotion-energy-mind-spirit Life Journey in http://www.tenpathwaysofhealinglove.com/.

More on Shifting Perspectives

2009-10-16T19:30:00.000-07:00

October 16, 2009

It Is All About Shifting Perspectives

2009-10-05T12:00:00.002-07:00

Overcoming Chaos, Differing Perspectives:

Shifting to see the Bigger Picture

We’ve been talking a lot about the importance of being able to shift perspectives and that when people can do this in their relationships, it really helps everyone feel valued.

We wanted to share a few of these thoughts with you as we are writing The Ten Pathways Of Healing Love and focusing on the importance of the pathway of Integration.

What does shifting perspective have to do with overcoming chaos and coming to an integration of a bigger picture, anyways. We’ll get to that, we promise!

Here are some of our recent thoughts (and perspectives) on shifting perspectives!

#1. Lalei’s Thoughts and Perspectives on Shifting Perspectives

I’ve always had ways to shift my perspective- to manage the chaos that can occur. I can remember from the age of four years old, I would always “go up”:

When it was chaotic in the house I would climb a tree, watching from the very top everything that was going on down below me. I felt on top of things.

When life would be difficult between my parents, my night dreams were always about flying to the mountains tops seeing the world below, going with the angels out in space to see things, to understand and to find a different way to see. Having conversations with my imaginary angel friend helped me see ways to make sense of my earlier world.

I used to be chastised by teachers for daydreaming or moving too much. In school to manage my boredom in the classroom, I’d be in my seat and found myself being like a helicopter watching the movements in the room from above.

I loved that I could shift my perspective, as it was a game I played by myself. As a child, I thought other people knew how to do this as well and was their secret. I didn’t realize that what I could do was unique. The benefit was my family would wonder where I got my ideas or insights as they would feel in some weird way seen and understood by me.

This skill in the rough in childhood became developed in my use of self as a facilitator of human relations. It came in handy when doing therapy, coaching or in facilitating a group. I had a way of beaming up from the middle of a conflict to see the "dance" of the conflict, and simply watch from varying perspectives. Then I would offer the process I observed.

This is why I can work with couples that are fighting or arguing their point of view. I would observe and listen beyond the words from many vantage points: go up, down, under and 360 degrees around without necessarily leaving my chair or place in the room. I could see where each one was coming from.

#2. Shifting perspectives, from the perspective of Phil…

I grew up in a farm with a beautiful, tranquil and special river. As a child, I loved going to “my river.” My river was a place of solitude, a place where I got in touch with my creativity, and was, at the same time, a place of joy that I frequented to shift my experiences of growing pains that at that times were overwhelming. My river was a place to rest, to recharge my batteries, and to soak up the refreshing feelings that bathed me in order to continue with life.

I would have conversations with “my river.” I would swim alone, or sometimes together with my childhood friends, communing with fishes, birds and animals around this extraordinary place. I would talk to my animal friends. “My river” was a place that I laughed so hard my stomach would ache. In the solitude with my river, I loved creating in my head “cognitive life theories”, puns and jokes.

My river was a pristine place that gave me inspiration to decode the unique spiritual or a few times, ironic messages to see life as a cosmic joke that the universe plays on humans.

I used to be seen as a jokester growing up- one who loved making people laugh. I still do. As a coach, I facilitate people’s ability to see out of the box, as well as not to be too seriously stuck in the box they are in. I notice that when people can laugh appropriately, they can see with humor thus helping them shift their perspective.

“My river” helped me to overcome my growing pains and adversities. It is still true today because I can always “return” to my “inner river” whenever I want or need to. Because of my childhood experiences, “my river” gave me special and unique signature skills as a therapist, coach, consultant, speaker and educator.

From these two very distinct childhood experiences and how we cultivated our early skills to be strengths, you can imagine some of the challenges we encountered learning to work together as a couple! It has taken us time, patience and painful encounters to work smoothly together.

One of the fundamental things we had to learn was how to shift our perspectives so that we could integrate as a couple.

Our dynamics can be quite funny! Lalei had to learn to come down to the river and laugh while swimming in the mud. Phil had to learn to ride the helicopter -- to see and feel the landscape from above.

Many times we wondered how we were ever going to survive navigating the tremulous, rough waves of the river of our relationship, wondering when the helicopter would arrive because we could not see through the thick fog.

By learning to appreciate our unique experiences and skills of overcoming adversities from our early lives, the metaphor of the union of the helicopter and the river perspectives joining together actually brought us miraculous experiences that we would not have discovered without the other.

Why does this matter?

Life and relationships are complex. Each person brings with them their childhood survival kits that forms and influences their unique perspective of the world. These perspectives profoundly impact their beliefs, values, approaches, styles, timing, rhythms and way of being in relationship in the world.

Through our life experiences we create our sense of:

who we are,
how we live,
our worthiness,
security,
belonging and
our standards for living
meaning and
what we value.

We have found in our own journey as a couple how respecting and honoring each other’s perspective and differences in our personal relationship has become a remarkably useful skill when we are coaching couples. Our clientele learns how to expand and shift their perspectives, as well as, how to appreciate their differences and gifts. When this happens, relationships become a rich ground for growth and transformation. This generates and co-creates a profound healing love and a conscious healing love partnership.

Over the past few years, our work has taken on a fascinating spin as humanity’s consciousness is expanding. As a relationship coach team, we also help couple’s discover the higher purpose of their relationship, offering them ways to discover a more integrated process on their love life’s journey.

What does this mean?

Fully engaging in a significant couple’s relationship is the hardest task our human spirit desires. It brings us to the heights and depths of joy and suffering. It stretches us to our limits and causes us to discover parts of ourselves that we never thought we possessed. It humbles us with our imperfections and magnifies our struggles. It highlights our difference, both to our surprise and chagrin. It brings us a multitude of emotions - many of which are inexpressible. It can be a haven from the adversities of living or a place of adverse living.

This relationship is a rich, microcosmic ground from which the dramas of history, tradition, politics, adversities and cultures get replayed. These dramas have a life of their own, where unconscious wounding is passed through our generations, societies, and cultures.

Why does it matter?

We believe it all deeply matters and are so glad to be part of supporting humanity in this time to discover new possibilities and solutions! Join us for in our next post where we’ll talk about what really matters…

We would love to hear about how you shift your perspective in the midst of conflict. Or maybe this post helped you shift some perspectives you have on your relationship. Please let us know by commenting below.

With Love and Gratitude,

Lalei and Phil

Join us at http://www.phillalei.com/ to discover pathways of nurturing support and guidance to help you move upon your own journey of healing love.

Adversity and Its Gifts: The Power of Water

2009-10-05T11:58:00.000-07:00

There is something about adversity caused by natural disasters that penetrates to the very heart of human vulnerability.

Over the years I have been profoundly impacted by the power of water, including my own tears that can choke me up. It started when I nearly drowned at the tender age of six. Then, in mid-life, I confronted my fears and learned to swim. In the past decade, we were so affected by the tsunami in Thailand and the far-reaching effects of Katrina here in the United States.

Paradoxically, at the same time, my favorites relaxation images are always centered around water – peace descends for me as I enter into the grace of a waterfall, a bubbling brook deep in my being or listening to the lapping of waves by a sandy beach. I daily experience gratitude for water as the ultimate nourishment, cleansing and purifying agent of nature.

Bringing the power of water to my awareness, this past weekend, the island of Luzon in the Philippines was shattered by the typhoon, Ketsana, where 90% of the land was totally submerged in water. The Philippines is our original home.

Greater Manila, with a population of 20 million, is having its worst flood in decades. What started as normal rains during the rainy season, immediately became disastrous. The Marikina River swelled and washed away many homes leaving around 500,000 homeless, with the greatest impact on the poor and destitute.

Even though many communication lines were down, we found ways to connect with our family in the Philippines. You can imagine our relief to know that all our family members were safe. However, the impact of the tragedies and devastation felt so overwhelming to me as I learned that many have lost everything.

My radiant daughter was at a loss for words as she told us about the tragedy and her interwoven feelings of compassion and pain. My courageous daughter and son-in-law did everything they could in their power to provide shelter, food, clothing and health needs for their family business employees and their families who lost their homes. My mother provided shelter for the staff of her inn aside from all the guest, local and international who were stranded in Malate Pensionne.

We continue to learn of many heroic actions, where ordinary people have harnessed extraordinary generosity to care for their community. They are truly living the greatest gift that humans can offer to another - to be truly connected, for when one is affected, all are affected and we are all one.

The spirit of the human community emerged here in the United States and throughout the world. We have being hearing amazing stories of:

People staying present and in the moment, such as a group linking hands to walk together through the raging waters.

Those capable, helped mothers with babies and cared for the elderly.

People were brought up to rooftops, employees were given safe shelter in their work environments, and employers were feeding and clothing those that they employ and their loved ones.

Survival happened because everyone joined together, and reached out to help each other.

Churches were overflowing on Sunday, both with people looking for shelter, but also those who were there to pray for others.

Some were able to manage their fears by turning the rains into a children’s playground, an opportunity for a much needed bath, to wash clothes, to gather drinking water, to take pictures on cell phones and cameras, to share with family and friends their postings on Facebook and Twitter.

Family and friends from around the globe reached out and expressed their love and concern by connecting, listening, being present, extending prayers, sending love and contributing funds.

Others tapped their energies to asked the waters to quell, pondering the meaning of the power of water on the highest levels.

For others, outpouring, reaching out, sharing love and their innermost feelings of appreciation, fear, and grief.

As the floodwaters have subsided, the mud is clearing and rebuilding begins, we take a moment to remember all those that we cherish and appreciate in overcoming adversity together, reconnecting us to our vulnerability and our oneness.

With Love and Gratitude,

Lalei and Phil

Pathway G Continues To Unfold For Us!

2009-07-03T09:11:00.000-07:00

Writing an E-Book about intimacy encourages us to deepen our own understandings. Right now we are writing the chapter on Pathway G - the Pathway of Giving and Receiving.

We were on a walk this week and met a newly married couple who are so in love; it was such a beautiful sight to experience. We saw them treating each other so kindly, giving and receiving in such beautiful ways.

After our contactful moment with this couple, we continued on our walk. We began to discuss about how couples give and receive, especially in the later phases of their relationship and what cuases people to stop giving and receiving?

Then we hit on it, after a long, hard and intense exchange!

Phil began by asking me, "Lalei, can I give you some feedback?" All of a sudden I could feel myself braising up inside and said to myself, "Uh-oh here it comes." I told him, "Wait just a minute, Phil, is your feedback positive, negative or neutral? I need to be in a space to receive what you are giving." He said, "My intention is positive and I want you to receive it in a neutral way. I just want you to hear me, my feedback - not to make you good or bad, not to make you anything it is just what I observe. Because it is really about me anyways."

I breathed and listened as he shared with me what he had observed me doing when we were talking with the couple.

"Lalei, I noticed that when you meet someone you become so excited and that you tend to hear only one part of the conversation. What happens with me is that I shut down because I don't want to dampen your excitement, but I want you to take a moment and take it all in. I have not told you this before because I didn't want you to think I was controlling you." Then he said, "Tell me what you got." Even though I thought I was in neutral, I said, "You are noticing how I don't listen when I am excited." Interestingly enough, he responsed with "No, that is not what I said. I just want you to slow down right now and tell me what else did you hear? "I heard you say you see me reacting fast in my excitement and not listening." "Lalei, I didn't say that at all, that's why it is good for me to check it out with you."

We went back and forth. He said it to me a few more times, getting cleaner and cleaner in his description of his perception. I started to et hot and said to him, "You are noticing that I do this more and more and you are just telling me NOW when you've noticed this for a long time... We have been working together for such a long time and you are just telling me now!" You can only imagine... Then he beautifully shared, "Can you please slow down? I would like this to be positively clean with you. My intention is not to criticize and put your down. I love that you get excited. It is not that you doing it more now, it is simply I am becoming more aware of how to cleanly describe to you what I am observing and feeling. The last thing I want to do is criticize you, I just want to share my observation in a way that is not critical. I am simply noticing more. I am noticing that I get annoyed and irritated. I simply want to be curious about what I'm annoyed about."

Then I got really hot and said, "Do you want me to stop being excited and spontaneous?" His point then was, "This is why I don't like talking to you because you hear a piece of something and then you stop yourself and want to do something about it. i just want you to hear the impact it has on me and my observation of my experience."

After a long while, we both relaxed and were clear what the other was offering. Then in a flash of insight I knew we had gotten it! "You know what we just practiced, Phil - giving and receiving. You were helping me receive what you were giving and I was helping you give in a way that I can receive."

We came home from that walk and we were so excited and elated that we actually worked through Pathway G. We find that the longer couples are together, they take a lot of shortcuts. They don't take the time to savor the giving and receiving that happens.

It was hard for me to hang-in there to receive the gift of Phil's observations. It was also hard for him to see that he needed to communicate it cleanly in ways that I could receive. We realized that this is a wonderful tool for couples, for giving and receiving.

To find out more about Pathway G in our E-Book The Ten Pathways of Healing Love, join us at www.tenpathwaysofhealinglove.com.

Love ~
Lalei

Warm Welcome!!!

2009-06-25T16:30:00.000-07:00

Welcome to The Ten Pathways of Healing Love: A Journey in Transformation.

We are so excited to share with you the Ten Pathways and invite you to take the journey with us on Healing Love.

You are welcome to go to our website, www.TenPathwaysofHealingLove.com to learn about us and the many wonderful, synchronous happenings that led us to the creation of our e-book.

With Love and Blessings,
Phil and Lalei